I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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