carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
