my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
