I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
