Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
