Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I hate all girls vehemently.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
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We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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