So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
