Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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