I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
