Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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