Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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