I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
