i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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