Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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