someone owes me an orgasm
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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