I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
