I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
