...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
