The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
