This girl is more easily done than said...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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