you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
