yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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