i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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