Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i love accidental penises.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
