there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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