my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
