tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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