Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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