Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
