One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
