My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
