So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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