I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
