I am spending my child support on dildos
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
