My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
