Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
