I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
