"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she pinky promised me she was 18
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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