Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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