you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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