Dual....:-)
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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