my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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