Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
