Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
