remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
