i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
