I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
