It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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