3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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