Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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