Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
