i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize