I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize