THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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