There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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