I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i don't like sucking hair
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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