So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
