come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
