i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
